Lions, Tiger, and Bears OH MY

I've been away from this for so long I feel like Brett Favre coming out of retirement. AGAIN. (I promise that is the only negative reference I will make to BF in this post) Speaking of the old man in purple, as much as I dislike him since he went to the Vikings, he is having one heck of a season. The great #4 has almost a 70% completion percentage, 24 touchdowns to only 3 interceptions. Let's remember who we are talking about again. This is the gunslinger of the NFL, the man who just threw it up for grabs for the heck of it. It's not a joke that he holds the career records for most interceptions in a season, much less has never had an interception total in single digits for a full season. It pains me to say this but he is certainly deserving of MVP consideration with the type of leadership he has brought to the Vikings. But let me ask you this Viking fans, what will you have gained from this season if you don't win the Super Bowl? Hypothetically, if Brett retires, obviously a big IF, where do you go from there? Will the season be considered lost if Brett doesn't bring home the Lombardi Trophy?

Anyways, in sticking with more NFC North talk, how about the Packers drubbing the Lions on Thanksgiving Day and the Vikings laying the beatdown on the Bears. If nothing else, this weekend for the NFC North definitely reflected the lack of parity within the division. Before the season many people were projecting a very tight 3-team race with the Bears addition of Cutler. Cutler has been nothing short of a catastrophic disaster in Chicago. The supposedly fierce matchup of Cutler vs. Favre could not have been more lopsided as Cutler added 2 more interceptions to his league leading total and Favre threw three touchdowns. Cutler was frequently mentioned in trade talks during the offseason with the Vikings and now the Bears and Vikings have gone in completely different directions. However, I would argue that Cutler would have much more success in Minnesota with the weapons that Minnesota has: landslide offensive ROY and dynamic WR Percy Harvin, the second-coming of Randy Moss in Sidney Rice, and oh yeah...what's his name? AP?

My Packers on the other hand, gave the Lions their 6th straight loss on Thanksgiving Day. That's a major ouch for tradition in Motor City land. However, what a gutty performance by Matt Stafford after his status was labeled as doubtful for the game. Yet, I still have to question the coaching of keeping him in the game and the dynamic yet hobbled Megatron, when the game was completely out of reach. Now if the Packers can come up with a big victory against the Ravens this Monday night, we might be well on our way to a Wildcard Spot.

Oh yeah...for that Tiger Woods fella. You are the best golfer in the world and the most private man on the face of the planet. You own a yacht called Privacy. Seriously?! It's obvious you value your privacy but let me tell you that the scrutiny you will face until questions are answered is unlike ANY putt you have had to make on the 18th green of a major tournament on Sunday. This issue will not just simply blow over and will get worse. I would hope you might put an end to the speculation and just answer some simple questions. Not to mention, your career is in jeopardy and you will be trapped without any carefully constructed responses to save you to silence the critics if your career takes a turn for the worse. Now I am not suggesting Woods is going to be uncompetitive but this is certainly an issue that will affect him until it is put to rest, which doesn't seem to be in any part of Tiger Woods' vocabulary at this point.

In totally unrelated yet somewhat related news, The Who will be performing at Super Bowl XLIV. (44 for the Roman Numerally challenged) Seriously CBS have you analyzed your primary demographics? I mean I am not a big fan of the Rolling Stones, who performed in 2006, but at least from what I remember they had their whole band. The Who only have two remaining members both in their mid-60s and they haven't had a hit in who knows how long. Unfortunately I can already see the headlines: Who performed at halftime? Or maybe it will turn into a big guessing game: Guess Who? (not to be confused with the 2005 romantic comedy starring the deceased Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher)

Anyways this about does it for me. Hopefully I made up for my extended leave of absence. Now where did i put my textbook?

Until next time...Adios Amigos.

Sleep is to Hibernation as Homework is to...

I Love College? Ok, I'm sure some of you might be familiar with the Asher Roth song depicting a drunken orgy of sorts. Thankfully, I actually have a legitimate excuse for my extended hiatus from the blogosphere contrary to Asher Roth's "accurate" depiction of college. Needless to say, not writing about the happenings in the sporting world for a whole month is like suffering a slow and painful death or for a less upsetting thought, watching M. Night Shyamalan's 2008 flick, The Happening--simply depressing. (Wait, that's just as upsetting) hmmm...

Anyways, I digress as usual. Let me get you caught up on my life and possibly explain my extended leave of absence. 1) I had to decide on a halloween costume. Yes, I know Halloween is still more than 1 week away but let me tell you in case you didn't know already: IT'S A BIG DEAL. After waffling over a couple different costumes for more than 3 years Brett Favre style, I am pleased to say that Jack Sparrow is currently being mailed to the small college on the hill, Gustavus Adolphus College. Yes, you heard me correctly, Johnny Depp is personally coming to visit me in order to transform me into a living, breathing imitation of his blockbuster Disney character in a couple weeks. Exciting, I know. Even better, Halloween is exactly one week after my birthday. (my 21st this year to be exact) Why is the rum ALWAYS gone?

2) The baseball playoffs are still occurring and unfortunately, I care about as much as Americans care about health care. Wait, that would mean I care more than Viking fans care about the Vikings this year. Ugh, I'm just confusing myself with contradicting similes. In the end, all that I want is for the Yankees to lose, which is pretty much what I want every year. The Cardinals had a meager display for a playoff baseball team and my AL team, the Twinkies, as thrilling as their 163rd game was, their NLDS against the Yankees was equally unexciting. However, if I had to pick one team it would be the Angels. After all they have most likely endured the most this season as one of their most promising pitchers, a 22-year-old rookie Nick Adenhart, was killed merely hours after throwing 6 scoreless innings for his Major League debut on April 9th.

Alas, they will most likely lose tonight in New York. BOOM, roasted.

3) In my hopes and dreams of acquiring a sports journalism job and associating with Kris Berman, Stuart Scott, etc. I am proud to say I am the new sports editor for my college newspaper, The Gustavian Weekly. As fun as it has been so far, some weeks have been fairly stressful. Apparently some college athletes don't want to be interviewed or in the media. Maybe they should get a lesson in "Craving attention 101" taught by Chad Ochocinco himself. Nevertheless, it has been some great experience so far and hopefully a huge resumé booster for my hopeful career. Although it is not the type of writing I prefer (sarcastic, satirical) and more news-based, I still try to incorporate some wit in the headlines and such. I guess I'll post again when I am more of a Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert than a Bill O'Reilly of sorts.

I guess maybe I should get to the wonderful worldwide sports industry? Ahhhh, this has been too long as is so I offer this...

Vikings lose to Steelers. PLEASE LOSE SO MINNESOTANS SHUT UP.

Packers beat Browns. (If Derek Anderson plays at his MVP-level he's been playing at so far, this should be a no-brainer) *knock on wood*

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to take a nap comparable to the length/rock level of a Dave Matthews Band Concert--long and hard. (Insert Michael Scott reference here) "That's what she said."

FOOTBALL. FINALLY.

Ahhh the glorious day has finally arrived. It happens only once a year and just may possibly be one of the best days of my life. It is the ONE and ONLY day when Brewers fans finally realize their team will not be going to the playoffs anymore and I can join them in cheering on a legitimate professional sports team from Wisconsin...THE GREEN BAY PACKERS. Also known as the first Sunday of the NFL's season. Oh yeah, I get to see Terry Bradshow's beautiful balding head as well.

Now I realize that as I predicted, my alter ego procrastination bit coupled with a fair amount of what I had grown unaccustomed to this summer, homework. I also have moved into an apartment on the Gustavus Adolphus Campus and can honestly say I'm not used to doing dishes. Oops. The irony of my opening paragraph concerning the Brewers was that Prince Fielder still believes in the Brewers playoff hopes despite their 68-73 record. So much so that when they win a game, he ORGANIZED a walk-off celebration. Are you kidding me Prince? You won the home run derby, your team is terrible, and you are cocky enough to organize your own walk-off home run celebration. One word: Classy.

It is now 11:58 AM, Sunday September 13th. This means two things: 1) It has been 10 days since I posted last. Lo siento. (I'm sorry.) 2) It is now 2 minutes from kickoff in Cleveland in what will begin Brett Favre's tumultuous last season as an NFL player...I hope. Now I could really care less at this point that one of the most decorated quarterbacks in terms of holding career records will grace Canton, Ohio at the Football Hall of Fame with his #4 Packers jersey donned to remind everyone of his truly great days as a football player. What matters now is he has brought upon himself the abundance of gray hair at 40 jokes while still thinking he can play football. Can you say laughing stock of the NFL? Yeah, not too difficult.

It is now 12:09 PM and the Browns kicked a field goal on their opening drive making the score Browns 3 Vikings 0. This means Brett Favre will soon grace the field with his presence. YAY. NOT. I guess I can only maintain my sanity for so long documenting Favre's efforts in this latest football season since another faux retirement.

12:12 PM. 2 plays, 2 runs, 1 yard.

12:13 PM Favre: 1-1 for -1 yards. 3 and out.

WHAT A GREAT START. THEY ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL. OH MY GOSH THE VIKINGS ARE SO AMAZING.

I guess it's only 1 drive but I can enjoy it while the Vikings less than specatcular play continues with #4 at the helm.

Since my punch line no longer works with procrastination circling like a shark in a pool of bloody water, Until next time...Adios Amigos. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?

PS If I'm in a mental hospital in St. Peter tomorrow, you will know why.

Brain Block...

Yikes, brain block sounds scary! No, I don't have an aneurysm just some sort of writer's block apparently.

As exciting as Curt Schilling, retired Red Sox pitcher, would be to write about after he announced he's serious about running for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat, I don't really get into politics.

As exciting as Michael Vick's NFL eligibility pushed up to week 3 of the regular season is, I'm just not very intrigued by it.

As exciting as the U.S. Open has been this week, (not very) writing about almost every men's seed getting through the early rounds while only one high women's seed has been upset so far in Russian Elena Dementieva is just not that inspiring.

And as much as I love fantasy football, I would rather wait to write about my sleeper picks and busts for the fantasy drafts until closer to the season.

So I have settled upon the conclusion that I have a severe case of writer's block or maybe that's just by default. You decide.

Until tomorrow...Adios Amigos.

Rubioing Out of the States...

With talent comes money. With money comes glamour. With glamour comes arrogance. (Often)

Now this doesn't hold true for most athletes in professional sports. Albert Pujols, Roger Federer, and Phil Mickleson to name a few. However, there are some that demand the spotlight and think very highly of themselves.

Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, hmm dare I say Brett Favre?, Terrell Owens, Chad Ochocinco, etc. Tentatively add to that list Ricky Rubio.

Ricky Rubio was the 5th pick in the NBA draft this year to the Minnesota Timberwolves. He shined in Europe playing for DKV Joventut and putting on a pristine passing showcase throughout the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. More than anything, his championship game performance against NBA stars such as LeBron, Kobe, and company elevated his draft status enough for the Timberwolves to take him with the 5th selection.

Only one problem.

He suddenly decided playing in the NBA, "would have just complicated my life a lot." Granted, the Timberwolves took the risk with drafting him that they would be able to orchestrate a deal to pay his buyout clause from his hometown club and bring him to the states.

However, after numerous meetings with Timberwolves president David Kahn in Spain, Rubio rejected his offers to come to the states and agreed to be dealt to Barcelona.

Rubio stated, "When the season ended, I entered the draft with the intention of going to the NBA. But some things happened that kept me from being ahead of the rest and I ended up No. 5, which I was happy with, but it didn't allow me the chance to go to the NBA. I tried, but in the end it wasn't to be."

Hmmm, it sounds like just a nice way of saying I dont want to play for Minnesota and I could do what I want even though I've never played a minute in the NBA. This is reminiscent of the Eli Manning and Philip Rivers draft situation a few years ago when neither quarterback wanted to play for the teams that drafted them so they eventually were traded.

Ricky, at 19 are you that egotistical that you want to personally direct where you end up in the NBA? Sorry buddy but it doesn't work like that. You will find out soon enough when you DO choose to jump to the NBA that you might have to learn a few things the hard way.

After all, if you didn't want to risk dropping to No. 5 in the NBA draft, why enter the draft in the first place. At least you realize that you can improve your game and raise your draft status for the future but one thing is for certain: When you are drafted, you will be drafted by a terrible team.

That's how the NBA Draft Lottery works. I guess I wish you the best and I guess you are Rick Rollin' your way out of the States Rick Astley style...except boy did you let Minnesotans down.

Until tomorrow...Adios Amigos

Who Ya Gonna Call...SHAQ!

"They call me Superman...Big Shaq where you at?
They call me Superman...Big Shaq where you at?

You can't stop it or block it when I drop it
Anytime I go rhyme for rhyme on a topic
Ain't even fit to step in Shaq's arena
I look inside your mind and I seen your shook demeanor
in your eyes, why are you surprised?"

I know what you are thinking, what rapper in their right mind would pretend to call themself Shaq. Well...Shaq!

You are probably asking yourself why I would open up a post talking about the newest Cleveland Cavalier when it's not even close to the NBA season. Well it's because I am somewhat quite enthralled with his new television show, Shaq Vs.

Indeed, Shaq has become so full of himself that he has decided to nationally embarrass himself on TV attempting to challenge the best athletes...AT THEIR OWN SPORT. He has already challenged Super Bowl winning quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger as well as the dynamic volleyball duo Misty May and Kerri Walsh. Now I didn't see his match up with May and Walsh but I did watch his show with Roethlisberger. Needless to say he held his own throwing the football as only a 7'1" 325 lb. big man could.

His latest episode aired this evening, attempting to take down the best all-around baseball player in the game today as well as my favorite player in a home run derby--Albert Pujols.

Besides being utterly foolish, Shaq provides some excellent color commentary, even joking around with Little League players watching him practice. He even goes so far as to ask Pujols' little son, AJ, who doesn't even come up to his knee, for some pointers in the batting cages.

Nevertheless, Shaq obliged the greatest baseball city with quite a show in the home run derby not to mention his home run fence measured a mere 200.' Remember the LLWS? Some of those kids are a third of Shaq's size and can hit it over that fence no problem. Shaq gave Albert all he could handle until Albert became...well, Albert. The contest spanned two rounds, Shaq got 10 outs, Pujols 5. Tied at ten, Pujols at the plate with 4 outs, Pujols proceeded to smash 6 straight homers out of the stadium much to the despair of Shaq and delight of teammate Ryan Ludwick sitting in the dugout.

As entertaining as the derby was, possibly the most touching moment of the show occurred when Shaq accompanied Albert to a facility for Down Syndrome kids and adults. Pujols' daughter, Isabella, has Down Syndrome and St. Luke's Hospital in Chesterfield, Missouri has recently announced their center for Down Syndrome will bear Pujols' name.

Pujols stressed how important it is to give back to the community and even better was Shaq's willingness to accompany Albert and greet some of these kids. After watching this episode, I only have one question:

Could baseball have a more commendable slugger to admire in the era of steroid scandals?

I think not.

Until tomorrow...Adios Amigos.

Rollin' Roger...

About two years ago marked an essential salvage of a season for one of the greatest athletes our generation has ever seen. It temporarily halted the run of his bullish arch nemesis and returned him to the peak of greatness.

Roger Federer. He is the epitome of gracefulness, confidence, and everything that is right in not only the game of tennis but sports in general. After Rafael Nadal's remarkable 2008 season that helped him overthrow the king of tennis with the #1 ranking, Roger shut the door on the 2008 season with his 13th major title.

In 2008 Rafael Nadal won his 5th consecutive French Open, running his career undefeated streak to 30-0 on the red clay in Paris. His encore? He captured Federer's reign over Wimbledon with an epic 5 set match and with it the #1 ranking in men's tennis which Roger had previously had a stranglehold on for the some time.

However, Roger rose to the occasion in Flushing Meadows and won the 2008 US Open over the strong Scot Andy Murray. Only 4 months later, Roger's hopes were dashed again by an 5th set meltdown against Rafael Nadal in the Australian Open. Despite his terrible play in the deciding set, I'd argue that it was the best loss of Roger's career. Somewhere in between his loss in Melbourne and his workouts up until Paris, something clicked. He pulled out a dramatic upset against Rafael Nadal on clay in Madrid just a week before the French Open.

Then, it all changed. Coupled with the surprising upset of Nadal in the 4th round and Federer's dominance in the tennis world over everyone except Rafa, Roger pulled out the career slam on the red clay and won his 14th Grand Slam title tying Pete Sampras for most all time. However, Pete never won the French.

Without Rafa in Wimbledon because of knee problems, Roger resumed his reign over tennis with an even more epic 16-14 5th set against Andy Roddick for the Championship.

If anyone bets against Roger, I have one word...foolish. Yet, he will face quite possibly the deepest men's field in a major ever.

Andy Murray, taking advantage of Rafa's injury leave, surpassed him in the rankings and will look to improve on last year's finish, which would mean winning the tournament. As weird as it sounds, Rafa may be the dark horse of the top men's players since he hasn't played too much recently but when he's on his game, we are all aware of the type of tennis he can play.

Rounding out the top players are Novak Djokovic, Andy Roddick, Juan Martin Del Potro, Jo Wilfried Tsonga, and Nikolay Davydenko. Andy Roddick will not only be the crowd favorite but the sentimental favorite after his crushing defeat in London at the hands of Roger.

My dark horse pick: Gael Monfils. He's probably the best athlete in the game, and intimidates opponents with his frizzy 'fro and powerful physique. Although I think two tall Americans have very good shots at making a surprise run. The 6'6" Sam Querrey has played a lot of tennis this summer and the 6'9" John Isner will both benefit from the quick courts exaggerating the movement and speed of their serves. Isner could have a very intriguing matchup in the 3rd round with Andy Roddick.

As for the women, their is only one name that resonates in the game. Williams. Both Serena and Venus have fully exercised their power within the women's game and although Serena is still #2 in the world she has won 2 majors this year to Dinara Safina's big fat 0 despite her #1 ranking. I fully expect either one of them to take home the trophy.

Yet as good as the Williams sisters have been lately, they will not succeed unchallenged. Kim Clijsters seems to have regained her form that made her a #1 player after a brief 2 year retirement. That sounds Brett Favre esque? Wait, his were only like 4 months.

AHH MAN. I was gonna make this a 100% Favre-Free blog. Guess I failed. Better luck next time.

Along with Clijsters, Maria Sharapova seems primed for a deep run into a major after her leave of absence because of injury. But if anyone is playing great tennis in the women's game right now, it's Elena Dementieva. She has improved her Achille's heel, her serve, and could finally get over the hump and win a major.

All in all, it appears the next fortnight at Flushing Meadows should be flush with excitement.

Until tomorrow...Adios Amigos.