Plax's Problems...

Puerile

Laughable

nAive

eXtraordinarily foolish

Idiotic

Crazy

Obtuse

I thought it would be fun for my third post to play a game. What do all of these words have in common? Did I hear you correctly...Manny Ramirez?? Sadly, that is not what I am referring to but great effort! I think it is fairly obvious that these words have 2 things in common: Plaxico Burress and the associated adjective stupid.

Now, I didn't get a chance to catch Plaxico's interview tonight on E:60 as I was out to dinner. However, I was fortunate to catch a sneak peek on Sportscenter earlier this morning. As Plaxico describes it, he was frisked at the door to the nightclub and was allowed entrance despite the AK-47 hidden in his pocket. Ok, I exaggerated but really? He was allowed entrance despite carrying a gun. As he was walking up the stairs towards the VIP room with his teammate and buddy Antonio Pearce the gun started sliding down his pants. As he reached in to stop it he apparently pulled the trigger. But hold on, I'm getting to the best part. Firstly, nobody heard a gunshot. Granted this is a nightclub were talking about. Even though I'm tucked away in some Joe Schmo city away from the gun-slinging men of America, I do know gun shots are pretty loud. Secondly, he didn't know he shot himself.

Um Roger Roger. Shots fired, over. WHAT?? BY WHO?? Um we have a man down. It appears he shot himself, over. LIKE SUICIDE? Um no, accidentally, over.

Yes, Plaxico claims he didn't even know he shot himself until he saw red on his Converse shoes. Ok, I know you play football but a bullet hurts more than Ray Lewis right??

Despite all this, I guess we can expect nothing less than a comeback to the effect of Michael Vick in a couple years after Plaxico gets out of jail. Did I mention his wife is expecting? One word...stupid.

In other news, I decided that contrary to my first post I would cheer on Brett Favre on two conditions. 1: He must grow out his beard and die his hair and beard a deep, dark brown to honor Mr. Infomercial himself Billy Mays. 2: He must get a face lift identical to that of Michael Jackson in reverence to the King of Pop. Wouldn't that give the Paparazzi some fun photos. SHAMWOW!!

It appears Michael Vick may make his first appearance in the NFL this Thursday in the Eagles preseason game. Personally, I would think it might be funny to play the old Baja Men song, "Who Let the Dogs Out." Woof Woof. Also Roger Federer, new father of twins, was given the #1 seed in the US Open and he will attempt to win his 3rd major of the year. I know I'm not the only one hoping for a Fed vs. Nadal final.

Finally, I guess I should address my picture i posted. My lame attempt to imitate the fastest man in the world, Usain Bolt. But I guess he had to be fast given his name. He set new records in the 100 and 200 m dashes. Even more surprising he didn't try to show off before he crossed the finish line leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.

Oh yeah, my St. Louis Cardinals are making a late season push toward best record in the NL and have opened up a virtual lock for a playoff berth with their 9 game lead over those Cubbies. I'm only praying for one thing from now until October: No SI Cover. Until tomorrow...Adios Amigos.